Written By: Omair Alavi
The words of former British Parliament Benjamin Disraeli, delivered in a speech in the British Parliament in 1878 describe the Rehman Malik the best. The British PM called the opposition leader a “sophisticated rhetorician intoxicated by the exuberance of your own verbosity’ which is what we can call our ‘Federal Minister for Interior’ any day of the year. From claiming that ‘Benazir Bhutto is alive and safe’ when she was really dead to banning the use of motorcycle for 12 hours in the largest city of Pakistan, he has come a long way, but on the wrong side of the road.
Nearly all Pakistanis – be it pro or anti government – agree that if the government fails miserably in the next elections, it will not be due to Nawaz Sharif or Imran Khan, but because of Rehman Malik who is not even a member of the Parliament! The man is clearly ‘intoxicated by the exuberance of his own verbosity’ as he paints ‘the larger picture’ all the time but things that are to happen, always happen. Be it the attacks at the Army Headquarters, Naval bases or the Rangers building, he always knew that the incident was about to happen, yet he couldn’t do anything to prevent it. In fact, whenever he opens his mouth, people wait for the ‘valuable’ insights he provides that bring smile on the faces of the depleted public, or enrages those who know that anyone else could have done a better job!
It seems he is following the motto ‘until they retaliate’ because whatever decisions he has taken, he has done so to instigate the public, and appease the government. Banning of mobile service throughout the country seems to be his ‘most historical step’ but it seems he hasn’t heard of Wi-Fi network or the other ways through which one can operate their mobile phones. The general perception is that the mobile companies didn’t pay any heed to his demands and in return, he banned mobile networks for the ‘betterment’ of the people. It’s true that no untoward incident took place during the ban but then, there are other ways to catch the terrorists than banning the use of cell phones!
His most recent and supremely illogical decision to ban motorcycle riding was greeted with boos and displeasure all over the country. Even his own party members like senior politician Raza Rabbani questioned the decision and its repercussions but that didn’t seem to make the Interior Minister think twice. He went ahead with the ‘ban on motorcycles’ and it took the might of Sindh High Court to suspend the stupid decision. To make matters worse, Rehman Malik hardly visits the cities he torments because if and when he does, he will know that he is now the most hated person in the country, preceding his own party’s Co-Chairman and the President of the country.
One wonders how and from where the Interior Minister gets his stupendous ideas. A person of knowledge would ask his predecessors or intellectuals who have actually done some progressive work for the nation, but it seems he asks neither. May be he likes to watch Tom and Jerry cartoons and come up with ideas based on how the torturous Tom cat was defeated by always-resourceful Jerry mouse. Or he could be the fan of TV series CHiPs in which most bikers were usually the culprits, chased by Larry Wilcox and Erik Estrada. Whatever the inspirations, he should quit his ‘dream job’ of doing nothing and actually do some work for the betterment of the very people who elected him. Or not, since he is a senator and was not even elected by the people!
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