Next time you stop by the set of a porno film, you might be pleasantly surprised to hear that we’re discussing very innocent things—girls, baked goods, maybe something about an ATM.
But like every other industry, porn has its own secret lingo, and we’ve been known to put a filthy spin on some very normal words. Back in the day, lay people weren’t in the loop, but lately they’ve been catching on. (I don’t mean actors who lay people, I mean civilians.) Still, some of the definitions below may still surprise you, or maybe gross you out.
Warning: not for the faint of heart.
1. Girl
In porn, no matter how old the woman is, she is always referred to as “girl” on set. The word woman sounds too old, frankly. And in porn the younger the better—aging isn’t recommended. However, this can sometimes lead to uncomfortable-sounding stage directions for those aren’t used to the terminology.
2. Facial
I’ve had a lot of facials in my life, both on set and outside of porn. The ones on the outside are in a spa-like setting, with an esthetician gently applying lotions and masks. Getting a “facial” on set, though, means having a face full of nut butter from a male performer, which some women swear gives them a great complexion. The trick is to smile and hope he misses the eyes. I’ve had it in my eyes before. It doesn’t sting much, but Visine does not take the red out. Fun fact: facials, in the porn sense, aren’t a new concept: the facial makes its first appearance in classic literature in 1785 in Marquis de Sade’s The 120 Days of Sodom.
3. DP
This piece of jargon is pretty common on mainstream movie sets: “director of photography,” or head cinematographer. There’s even a category for it at the Oscars! Of course, in porn, the abbreviation holds a far different XXX meaning: “double penetration.” Fairly standard practice for those actresses who take in the behind, this move involves the cooperation of one woman with two men simultaneously occupying the muff and the tush. We’re not holding our breath for any inclusion at the Academy Awards.
4. Creampie
Every time I walk into a bakery and read the words “cream pie,” I giggle to myself, because I’m not thinking of the cream pie your grandma used to bake for you. I’m thinking of the porn term—one word, not two—which has changed my eating habits considerably. This one is an internal squirt of a man’s custard straight up the female canal. The actors try not to shoot it too deep, as the real intention behind this move is to pull out and then show it off for the camera.
5. ATM
Literal translation: ass-to-mouth. In this maneuver, after a few dips in the chocolate tunnel, the schlong is taken directly to the girl’s mouth for some oral action. It’s in these moments, especially, that we all hope things “back there” are squeaky clean. It’s embarrassing when that’s not the case, but sometimes it cannot be helped. Definitely a moment when a performer hopes their scene partner hasn’t eaten the day before and did a lot of enemas beforehand.
6. Money Shot
This is an easy one. “Money shot,” in cinema, is used to refer to a particularly moving or pivotal shot in a scene. In porn lingo … well, you can see where I might be going with this. No porno is complete without the climactic male orgasm. It’s the most important part of a boy/girl scene, the moment of pay-off. The bigger the money shot, the more in demand a male performer can become. (Peter North is notorious for his human fountain.) When the director yells for a “set up to pop,” the performers know their scene is almost over and the camera operator knows to watch for that crucial shot. If a guy messes up the shot or has performance anxiety, it’s not uncommon to call in a stunt double just for this. As a last resort, some directors will use a combination of Cetaphil and piƱa colada mix to fake it. I have had Cetaphil in my mouth quite a few times; I’ve had more soap in my mouth as an adult than I ever had as a kid.
Thanks to my career in porn, when I hear certain words my mind automatically goes to the naughtiest place I can think of. I can never again look at ATM the same way! Every time I pass a bank and see one, I giggle like a grade-schooler.I even bought a t-shirt with an ATM logo, finding a certain humor in it, only to later find out the logo represents a football team from a Texas University. So I may no longer see the world through rose-colored glasses, but at least the world I see thanks to my XXX education is one that is much more amusing.
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